Trail Notes

Co-dependency: Staying in it with a Narcissist

The term ‘narcissist’ is carelessly thrown around a lot these days, used to describe every minor instance of self-absorption. Narcissism, as psychotherapist Dr. Ross Rosenberg points out, lies along a spectrum with healthy narcissism at one end and malignant narcissism at the other. In the context of this subject, it is someone who “over-focuses on … Continue reading Co-dependency: Staying in it with a Narcissist

How to bring safety to the body after trauma

Your Autonomic Nervous System apprenticeship starts here. Veterans, children who have experienced abuse or neglect, and others who have suffered single event trauma are often left with emotional and psychological scars. Despite decades of effort, there are no clear-cut answers about how to heal them.Pills, talk therapy, and support groups help some people but not … Continue reading How to bring safety to the body after trauma

Rejection: How to move from ‘hamster’ to harmony

Most of us were born into a tribe. We were loved and loved ourselves. We clearly communicated our needs (typically through crying) and happily accepted the love and care we received because we instinctively knew we deserved it. But just for a moment, imagine if that wasn’t the case? That you were not born into … Continue reading Rejection: How to move from ‘hamster’ to harmony

Trauma and that ‘soul feeling’

Image: "Soul" via Pixar Childhood trauma has been a hot topic for discussion in the psychological world since Dr. Stephen Porges and Dr. Bessel van der Kolk dropped their body-based theories in the 1990s. While traditional talk (cognitive) modalities were able to effectively address many mental and emotional health challenges, somatic psychologists believed they could … Continue reading Trauma and that ‘soul feeling’

Biological rudeness or simply survival?

Unintentional moments of disconnection happen when there is a violation of neural expediencies. Whether micro-moments that register like a blip on a radar screen or lingering stretches of disengagement, the experience of disruption is unsettling at a body level. Biological rudeness, a term coined by psychiatrist Dr. Stephen Porges, best describes the responses of fight, … Continue reading Biological rudeness or simply survival?

Navigating the minefield of traumatic transference

When we enter any relationship, we assume the person will think, feel, and behave in ways that replicate our life experiences. This includes all kinds of assumptions and expectations about how the other person will act and how the relationship will unfold. Sigmund Freud named it transference. When Freud initially encountered transference in his therapy … Continue reading Navigating the minefield of traumatic transference

21 clues you may be living with a narcissist

If you have a background of childhood trauma it is likely you are highly susceptible to emotional abuse courtesy of a narcissist. Daughters* of narcissistic parents, in particular, can fall prey to exploitation in adulthood because they learn at a very young age how to detect threats in the environment while responding to them in … Continue reading 21 clues you may be living with a narcissist

Hacking trauma with the Wim Hof Method

© Innerfire In these modern times, with every convenience at our fingertips, we are seeing record numbers of adults and children with stress and anxiety issues than ever before. Some experts believe we are generally more aware of mental health problems than we used to be, and this may account for the rise in numbers … Continue reading Hacking trauma with the Wim Hof Method

Addictions and the ‘false’ window of tolerance

Let’s talk addictions. We all have them. In his award-winning book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction, Dr. Gabor Maté explains the origins of addiction as being rooted in trauma and calls for a more compassionate approach toward addictions or compulsive behaviours. At the heart of Dr. Maté’s philosophy is the … Continue reading Addictions and the ‘false’ window of tolerance