Do you ever feel that life with your adopted or foster child feels like a pantomime where you never know who is going to turn up on stage next? Your child may be playing contentedly and a moment later, he is a raging Hulk, or a spacey otherworldly creature, or a collapsed vagrant who "deserves" … Continue reading Fragmentation: A pantomime of parts
Many adoptive and foster caregivers find themselves confronted with behaviours that impact daily life—not being able to get out of bed in the morning, throwing things, hoarding food, violence and abuse, sexually acting out, emotionally short-fused, or flat-lined. It is no surprise caregivers seek out mental health professionals to "fix" the behaviours. Psychotherapist and co-author … Continue reading Safety: The antidote to “bad” behaviour
If you have adopted or are fostering a child with attachment wounds as a result of early trauma, daily life offers many challenges, detours, and seeming dead ends. These can stop you in your tracks, causing you to get stuck in the morass of feeling overwhelmed, or they can act as the impetus to a … Continue reading Marisa Peer: How to effectively use language to help our children (and ourselves) thrive!
© ted.com There has been a lot written about the effects that prolonged exposure to traumatic events–particularly in the early years–is thought to have on brain development. On the whole science tells us, children exposed to neglect may be more vulnerable to general delays in cognitive and language development. However there has been very little … Continue reading Iain McGilchrist: Language and the “divided brain”
Have you ever had a child who made a mess and, when challenged, denies it—even if the evidence lies on his face or hands? He tells the obvious lie because he is unsure what the outcome will be. The false story is borne out of feelings of vulnerability (primarily, emotions of fear and/or shame). Codependency … Continue reading Overcoming the codependency / narcissism dynamic
© The Trauma Initiative Growing up an introvert and a twin, one other close friend was all I could handle at a given time. But, more than often, I would discover that my chosen friend had another chum and that this relationship was hugely volatile. It came down to me to be the “steady ship” … Continue reading Caretaking vs. Caregiving: Going beyond semantics
© The Trauma Initiative The term "self-care" has been thrown around a lot lately since it's become en vogue to discuss the pleasant things you do for yourself in the name of being your own best nurturer. Self-care often includes: Engaging in retail therapy.Taking a luxury holiday.Visiting a day spa.Having coffee or lunch with … Continue reading Robin Sharma: The importance of inner time