Most of us were born into a tribe. We were loved and loved ourselves. We clearly communicated our needs (typically through crying) and happily accepted the love and care we received because we instinctively knew we deserved it. But just for a moment, imagine if that wasn’t the case? That you were not born into … Continue reading Rejection: How to move from ‘hamster’ to harmony
When we enter any relationship, we assume the person will think, feel, and behave in ways that replicate our life experiences. This includes all kinds of assumptions and expectations about how the other person will act and how the relationship will unfold. Sigmund Freud named it transference. When Freud initially encountered transference in his therapy … Continue reading Navigating the minefield of traumatic transference
Do you ever feel that life with your adopted or foster child feels like a pantomime where you never know who is going to turn up on stage next? Your child may be playing contentedly and a moment later, he is a raging Hulk, or a spacey otherworldly creature, or a collapsed vagrant who "deserves" … Continue reading Fragmentation: A pantomime of parts
© The Trauma Initiative Often people who have had overwhelming experiences—from a car accident to years of physical abuse—are given the advice to “move on.” Or, if the trauma occurred when young, they are told: “you were too young to remember.” While these statements are well-intentioned, they lack an understanding of how trauma works. People … Continue reading Stuck! Unravelling the unconscious memory
© The Trauma Initiative Trauma is not about a story that happened a long time ago. Trauma is the impact of that event on you. It changes your brain and your sense of self. The treatment for trauma is finding a way in which you can own yourself and be restored to your maximum internal … Continue reading Bessel van der Kolk: What is neurofeedback?
If you have adopted or are fostering a child with attachment wounds as a result of early trauma, daily life offers many challenges, detours, and seeming dead ends. These can stop you in your tracks, causing you to get stuck in the morass of feeling overwhelmed, or they can act as the impetus to a … Continue reading Marisa Peer: How to effectively use language to help our children (and ourselves) thrive!
© ted.com There has been a lot written about the effects that prolonged exposure to traumatic events–particularly in the early years–is thought to have on brain development. On the whole science tells us, children exposed to neglect may be more vulnerable to general delays in cognitive and language development. However there has been very little … Continue reading Iain McGilchrist: Language and the “divided brain”