When we enter any relationship, we assume the person will think, feel, and behave in ways that replicate our life experiences. This includes all kinds of assumptions and expectations about how the other person will act and how the relationship will unfold. Sigmund Freud named it transference. When Freud initially encountered transference in his therapy … Continue reading Navigating the minefield of traumatic transference
The term ‘narcissist’ is carelessly thrown around a lot these days, used to describe every minor instance of self-absorption. Narcissism, as psychotherapist Dr. Ross Rosenberg points out, lies along a spectrum with healthy narcissism at one end and malignant narcissism at the other. In the context of this subject, it is someone who “over-focuses on … Continue reading Help! My life has been hijacked by a narcissist!
If you have a background of childhood trauma it is likely you are highly susceptible to emotional abuse courtesy of a narcissist. Daughters* of narcissistic parents, in particular, can fall prey to exploitation in adulthood because they learn at a very young age how to detect threats in the environment while responding to them in … Continue reading 21 clues you may be living with a narcissist
© Innerfire In these modern times, with every convenience at our fingertips, we are seeing record numbers of adults and children with stress and anxiety issues than ever before. Some experts believe we are generally more aware of mental health problems than we used to be, and this may account for the rise in numbers … Continue reading Hacking trauma with the Wim Hof Method
Let’s talk addictions. We all have them. In his award-winning book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction, Dr. Gabor Maté explains the origins of addiction as being rooted in trauma and calls for a more compassionate approach toward addictions or compulsive behaviours. At the heart of Dr. Maté’s philosophy is the … Continue reading Addictions and the ‘false’ window of tolerance
Do you ever feel that life with your adopted or foster child feels like a pantomime where you never know who is going to turn up on stage next? Your child may be playing contentedly and a moment later, he is a raging Hulk, or a spacey otherworldly creature, or a collapsed vagrant who "deserves" … Continue reading Fragmentation: A pantomime of parts
© Steve Rotman There is much talk in adoption and foster groups about the importance of attachment. But what exactly is it and why should it be on a caregiver's radar? According to the father of attachment theory, John Bowlby (1969), infants are born with a biological drive to seek proximity to a protective adult … Continue reading Attachment: Miss Chaotic AKA the disorganized